Prince George’s County Lead Facilitator, Nephateria McBride. She continues a very personal voyage through the loss of a loved one. I know that if you have ever had to deal with the death of one of your closest loved ones, this will touch you at your core.
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I’m not talking about the kind of healing that occurs when you cut your finger or bruise a part of your body. The body is designed to initiate that type of healing on its own. I’m talking about emotional, mental, and spiritual healing. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, house, job, or dream…this type of work often requires us to make an intentional choice to embark on the journey of healing. For example, while visiting our family home a few days ago, I walked into your bedroom to get a t-shirt out of the drawer. As I have done in the past many times, I didn’t want to wear the pajamas that I had packed and chose instead to wear one of your t-shirts to bed. Well, I forgot that they had packed up your clothes. I opened the drawer and it was empty. I opened up several other drawers and they were empty too. I walked over to your closet and pulled back the curtain. All your clothes were gone! In that moment, I felt like my chest was going to explode. However, in that moment, I realized that I had a choice to make.
I could either act like seeing the empty drawers in your bedroom didn’t bother me or I could honor how I was feeling and give myself room and space to process the grief. I chose to honor how I was feeling. I walked slowly back into my room and acknowledged how I was feeling. I was hurt, numb, and unprepared for that moment. It was as if reality had once again slapped me in the face. And man, did it sting! However, I simultaneously realized that honoring how I was feeling allowed me to survive the moment. You see Momma….I’m learning that grief has a place in our lives. It’s God’s way of helping us cope with and ultimately live with the loss in a healthy way. So many of us don’t allow ourselves to grieve and we get stuck in that place of pain or we stop living healthy, productive lives. We just stuff our feelings down and try to move on as if we’re okay.
Momma…at 60 days, I understand that healing is indeed a choice and I am determined each day to open myself up to the healing process and let grief do what it came to do.